I realize that some of you, who follow this blog, may not have known Javy since he was born. So I wanted to introduce some of Javy's baby pictures. Now I could just post pics, but that's not my style, noooooo! Of course, I had to make a movie, because I love my iMovie software. My goal is to show his growth, his progression and, also, his regression so you can become even more familiar with Javy. One more thing, the music is Javy's choice......
Friday, March 9, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
We need a hero!
I got a jazillion things running through my mind, right now! In fact, I don't even know what to title this blog. So I'm just going to go with it.....
I think society has pinned this unrealistic expectation that parents of kids with special needs, should be activists. Two recent incidents that occurred to two different friends, who live very far apart (Alabama and Hawaii) has gotten me thinking about this. Both of them related to schools. One day, my friend in Alabama posted on her Facebook page that she had just had an IEP meeting with the school and they gave her two choices: "let us discipline him (paddle) or do home bound cuz they can't handle him". She chose to keep him at home. Before I commented to give her my support, I read through all of the previous comments. They were full of inflammatory phrases, "that's wrong, you should........, etc" Kind of like she had just given up, because she chose to just teach at home. I for one think this is very brave and totally understand where she is coming from. Reading this brought it all back to me.... The roller coaster of life with a special child.
When Javy was in Kindergarten, I chose to take him out of school, too. Day after day, he came home so sad. When he got off the bus, he would have his head down. This was a total personality change for him. I began visiting the school at odd hours. My observation was that he and the two other students in wheelchairs would be on one side of the classroom, while the rest of the class was sitting in desks, facing each other in a circle. I tried to talk to the teacher about this. But the classroom was small and really not suitable for a special ed class. There were a lot of kids in the class. She had 3 aides. The fight had to go higher than her, because she was just doing what she could with what she had. I withdrew him out of school (Kindergarten isn't a requirement in Alabama, anyways). Yes, I feel bad for the other little girls in wheelchairs, who had to stay there, but I just wanted my little boy to be happy. I did write a letter to the principal, but that is as much activism as I could muster.
You see, and this is my point, between the working 40+ hours a week, providing just the love and care at home for Javy, the doctor's appts and the OT, PT, and Speech Therapy, once a week that I was taking him to at that time; forcing school administrators to do what they're supposed to do anyways, seemed out of my league. I was able to give him what he needed at home, so why not? I think that most parents, unless they're bionic, are gonna choose what is overall best for their children. We shouldn't have to be activists for special education. The schools should just obey the laws that have been set in place. What we need in order for that to happen, is a person, without kids with special needs who can fight our cause objectively. I'm not sure who this hero is, but maybe they're out there somewhere. In fact, that should be the title of this blog.
I have been at this for 10 years and this is what I've learned so far: Teachers are not miracle workers, and neither are doctors. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own children's well-being and that is where we should be expected to focus.
I think society has pinned this unrealistic expectation that parents of kids with special needs, should be activists. Two recent incidents that occurred to two different friends, who live very far apart (Alabama and Hawaii) has gotten me thinking about this. Both of them related to schools. One day, my friend in Alabama posted on her Facebook page that she had just had an IEP meeting with the school and they gave her two choices: "let us discipline him (paddle) or do home bound cuz they can't handle him". She chose to keep him at home. Before I commented to give her my support, I read through all of the previous comments. They were full of inflammatory phrases, "that's wrong, you should........, etc" Kind of like she had just given up, because she chose to just teach at home. I for one think this is very brave and totally understand where she is coming from. Reading this brought it all back to me.... The roller coaster of life with a special child.
When Javy was in Kindergarten, I chose to take him out of school, too. Day after day, he came home so sad. When he got off the bus, he would have his head down. This was a total personality change for him. I began visiting the school at odd hours. My observation was that he and the two other students in wheelchairs would be on one side of the classroom, while the rest of the class was sitting in desks, facing each other in a circle. I tried to talk to the teacher about this. But the classroom was small and really not suitable for a special ed class. There were a lot of kids in the class. She had 3 aides. The fight had to go higher than her, because she was just doing what she could with what she had. I withdrew him out of school (Kindergarten isn't a requirement in Alabama, anyways). Yes, I feel bad for the other little girls in wheelchairs, who had to stay there, but I just wanted my little boy to be happy. I did write a letter to the principal, but that is as much activism as I could muster.
You see, and this is my point, between the working 40+ hours a week, providing just the love and care at home for Javy, the doctor's appts and the OT, PT, and Speech Therapy, once a week that I was taking him to at that time; forcing school administrators to do what they're supposed to do anyways, seemed out of my league. I was able to give him what he needed at home, so why not? I think that most parents, unless they're bionic, are gonna choose what is overall best for their children. We shouldn't have to be activists for special education. The schools should just obey the laws that have been set in place. What we need in order for that to happen, is a person, without kids with special needs who can fight our cause objectively. I'm not sure who this hero is, but maybe they're out there somewhere. In fact, that should be the title of this blog.
I have been at this for 10 years and this is what I've learned so far: Teachers are not miracle workers, and neither are doctors. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own children's well-being and that is where we should be expected to focus.
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