"Ya gotta get your head in the game, Mom!" That's what Javy says. Well, he didn't really say that, I mean, if you know Javy, you know that he's nonverbal. But being Javy's mama, I've become proficient in the Javy-ese and that is my interpretation of what he said.
I watch Javy. When he is being made to do something that he has no interest in, his head goes down and he starts to giggle. The other morning, when I dropped him off at school, I decided that it was time for him to push himself to his classroom. I pushed his wheelchair onto the sidewalk and said, "Ok, Javy, let's head to class. Straight ahead." And I took my hands off his wheelchair and began to walk toward the classroom. I look back at Javy and his wheelchair had not budged an inch. Coaxing only made him giggle. I got all excited when he finally put his hands on his wheels, but he only did that so he could dance, rocking back and forth. We did the hand over hand method the whole way. When we got to the slight incline, he did began to push himself, but only so he could roll down the hill. Yeah, it was about a 20 minute walk. We could've walked it from home, faster.
But crinkle a bag of cookies from across the room and see how fast he can get to you. When he's swimming, he's unstoppable. His arms and legs are moving. And his game face, watch out, when he has his game face. He's unstoppable.
Last summer, I decided that I wanted to surf with Javy. I decided to lose weight. I came up with this plan where all I had to do was lose 3 pounds a month and by the time I was forty, I would be a normal weight. I started this on my birthday, in August, when I turned 38. The first month I cut out beer and I did lose my goal weight for the month. My starting weight was about 245. Four months later, I weighed 263 on New Year's Day. The problem, my head wasn't in it. When stress and life started slapping me in the face, I had no other coping mechanism but the one's that I had counted on for thirty-eight years-chocolate, grease, salt and sleep.
Oh, boy, I was depressed. But I couldn't see any way out of it. I looked at my circumstances-I work eight hours, I came home and took care of Javy. When he went to bed, I went to bed because I had to do it all over the next day. It felt like being thrown in a hole and the only tool I was given was a shovel.
I did start cooking a little healthier and I bought a mini-stepper so I could do a little exercise while Javy played. The first time I tried it, I only lasted two minutes. But something is better than nothing, I always say. I resigned myself to the fact that these were my circumstances and I would just be a big person for the rest of my life. At least, I have my good personality and nice face, damnit!
Then the big moment came. My mom had a doctor's appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to see about having her hips replaced. She had them X-rayed and they are pretty much bone on bone, both sides. It's pretty much a miracle that she can even walk, the doctor said. That's when it hit me like a herring in a Monty Python skit. If I don't do something now, I'll never surf with Javy. This hip thing is genetic because mom's dad had it and his mom. And my prognosis would be much worse than theirs because I've been more inactive and I'm heavier than they ever dreamed of being.
Five months later, I haven't looked back. My success has come from fixing my mind, first. That's what I failed to do all of those years before. I thought if I lost weight then everything would be perfect and I'd be beautiful and happy.
I haven't had any desire to fall off the wagon or revert back to my old ways. When I feel stress, I'm prepared. I have alternative ways of dealing with it now. Not to make anyone gag, but physical activity is the best way to deal with it for me. It's my way of telling my body that I have control over it, not the other way around. If I can handle that then I can handle any problem. Also, herbal teas are a great way to reduce stress, too, especially kava.
I watch Javy. When he is being made to do something that he has no interest in, his head goes down and he starts to giggle. The other morning, when I dropped him off at school, I decided that it was time for him to push himself to his classroom. I pushed his wheelchair onto the sidewalk and said, "Ok, Javy, let's head to class. Straight ahead." And I took my hands off his wheelchair and began to walk toward the classroom. I look back at Javy and his wheelchair had not budged an inch. Coaxing only made him giggle. I got all excited when he finally put his hands on his wheels, but he only did that so he could dance, rocking back and forth. We did the hand over hand method the whole way. When we got to the slight incline, he did began to push himself, but only so he could roll down the hill. Yeah, it was about a 20 minute walk. We could've walked it from home, faster.
But crinkle a bag of cookies from across the room and see how fast he can get to you. When he's swimming, he's unstoppable. His arms and legs are moving. And his game face, watch out, when he has his game face. He's unstoppable.
Last summer, I decided that I wanted to surf with Javy. I decided to lose weight. I came up with this plan where all I had to do was lose 3 pounds a month and by the time I was forty, I would be a normal weight. I started this on my birthday, in August, when I turned 38. The first month I cut out beer and I did lose my goal weight for the month. My starting weight was about 245. Four months later, I weighed 263 on New Year's Day. The problem, my head wasn't in it. When stress and life started slapping me in the face, I had no other coping mechanism but the one's that I had counted on for thirty-eight years-chocolate, grease, salt and sleep.
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| This is me, last summer about 245ish. |
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| This is me, around January 2012 about 263ish. |
Oh, boy, I was depressed. But I couldn't see any way out of it. I looked at my circumstances-I work eight hours, I came home and took care of Javy. When he went to bed, I went to bed because I had to do it all over the next day. It felt like being thrown in a hole and the only tool I was given was a shovel.
I did start cooking a little healthier and I bought a mini-stepper so I could do a little exercise while Javy played. The first time I tried it, I only lasted two minutes. But something is better than nothing, I always say. I resigned myself to the fact that these were my circumstances and I would just be a big person for the rest of my life. At least, I have my good personality and nice face, damnit!
Then the big moment came. My mom had a doctor's appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to see about having her hips replaced. She had them X-rayed and they are pretty much bone on bone, both sides. It's pretty much a miracle that she can even walk, the doctor said. That's when it hit me like a herring in a Monty Python skit. If I don't do something now, I'll never surf with Javy. This hip thing is genetic because mom's dad had it and his mom. And my prognosis would be much worse than theirs because I've been more inactive and I'm heavier than they ever dreamed of being.
Five months later, I haven't looked back. My success has come from fixing my mind, first. That's what I failed to do all of those years before. I thought if I lost weight then everything would be perfect and I'd be beautiful and happy.
I haven't had any desire to fall off the wagon or revert back to my old ways. When I feel stress, I'm prepared. I have alternative ways of dealing with it now. Not to make anyone gag, but physical activity is the best way to deal with it for me. It's my way of telling my body that I have control over it, not the other way around. If I can handle that then I can handle any problem. Also, herbal teas are a great way to reduce stress, too, especially kava.
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| This is me now, at about 217. |
Coming soon.....Lesson #2: Javy says "Mom, you got to get yourself a plan."
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