Sunday, February 9, 2014

Not Gonna Be My Worst Enemy Anymore!

The age of self degradation has come to an end!

I realize I haven't posted much about my own weight loss journey.  I was thinking that it was because there wasn't much going on.  I haven't lost much weight, so there's nothing new to report.

But then I realized that is completely false, because there's so much more going on inside me that's bigger than weight loss.  I've been focusing on making sure that I workout regularly and what I actually put in my body.  When I first started this excursion, I just kind of started.  I kept track of how much calories went into my body, because it's basic science.  If you consume less energy that what you expend, then you're gonna lose weight.  You can't argue with science, I've tried.  I had much success, but as one friend told me, I'm evolving.  It's a slow process but it's a total life style change.  Now I'm not only focusing on my body but what I put into my entire family's body.

I'm really proud of the progress we've made as a whole.  We buy mostly organic vegetables and meats, local if we can.  We buy no processed foods, I make all of Javy's snacks.  Javy even drinks my fresh vegetable juices.  I've stopped using MyfitnessPal, just to see what happens.  I haven't gained any weight so I'm pretty proud of that.  I've actually lost some inches from my hips and I can see some muscles in my midline.

But what I'm about to say is going to blow your mind, and may even seem confusing.  But this is the biggest progress of all-I actually stopped at Burger King last night on our way home from surfing and ate a Whopper with cheese.  (I accidentally at some ribs with Shoyu earlier so I was glutened, already.  Might as well, enjoy the rest of the day.)  Here's the point, I didn't beat myself up over it.  Why?  Because that's not the norm, anymore.  Before, I would've been depressed for days and hated myself for being a failure.  Nah, it's a one time thing.  My son was hungry.  Sure the bun is full of plastic and the cows were probably fed GMO corn.  Whatever!  That is evolution, my friends.  It'll be months before we ever go back to a fast food restaurant, if we ever do, again.  I don't know.  I celebrate all the times that we drove right by the fast food restaurants and went home to cook a meal, instead, not opting for convenience.

And you know what else I did?  I shocked everyone on Friday when I wore a sexy dress with high heels for absolutely no reason.  And I enjoyed every compliment.  I especially enjoyed the shocked look on Ryan's face when he said, "You have legs!"  It was good fun.  That was a true exercise for me.  I put the dress on and it fit, showed all my curves, but then I just walked away from the mirror before I could over think it.  I put my shoes on and just walked out the door before I could change my mind.

So that's a little update.  I think it's more mental progress, because that's my big lesson for this year.  I'm going to take care of myself and take all the help I can when it's offered to me.  I think it all goes back to accepting and loving yourself no matter what you look like.  You can't make physical changes until you accept yourself for who you are.  Being skinny isn't going to bring happiness, nor is the love of anyone else.  But when someone does love me, I won't be a frazzled mess.  I'm glad I've finally learned to love myself.  

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Brilliant! Good on you...