I really suck at blogging. I started this blog to share the experience of raising an undiagnosed child with special needs. My hope is to inspire and to learn. But believe it or not, my friends, I really don't like blogging. I'm not the kind to share things that are so personal. Many times, things have happened and I thought I should blog about that. I'll let it stew in my mind, go to work and do other things, and the moment, well, it just passes. The things never get written because I talk myself out of it. I tell myself who would even care about that. Or I don't have a cute anecdote to back it up. Or I'll over think it and write something dry and institutional. Or worse, something will happen and I'm like well, I blogged yesterday, I don't want to bore people. I'm challenging myself to blog about something everyday, no matter how trivial my mind tells me it is, there will be something on this blog for thirty days ( a good round number).
This is my first blog, in this series. Because I'm sharing with you, how hard it is for me to share. There are so many great blogs that I like to read, myself. "Rants from Mommyland", "I am not the Babysitter" and "Herding Cats" are some great examples. And they're not necessarily about children with special needs. I think that good parenting as whole needs to be discussed. This challenge for me is made even harder with all of the things that have gone on this week, my mind is telling me how irrelevant this is. Even if no one reads it, I need it so that makes it relevant.
This blog started out as a voice for kids with undiagnosed disorders. But its turned into something else, the way Javy has inspired me to do more with my life and be the whole person that I can be. This includes includes my weight loss and physical accomplishments. But I've kept my internal transformation very private. People have asked me about my weight loss and how I've done it. They're disappointed when I can't give them a definitive answer. All I can say is that something clicked on inside me to keep me driven. My number one inspiration was Javy. His physical limitations never bring his spirit down. He still tries to do everything that he can so why shouldn't I. It's disrespectful to him to not give it my all.
I hope that people I come in contact with notice the positive changes in me. People who know me, know that I have been very moody in the past and slightly sensitive. (I can hear my sister snickering) But I've come to realize that this is very selfish, my attitude can ruin someone's whole day, especially Javy's. It takes discipline but I put away the negative thoughts and focus on the positive. My attitude used to be, oh this is how I am, just get over it. Life is short, I want to have the best experiences possible and I don't want Javy or anyone else to have one negative day, because of me. It's so much easier just to smile and say nothing than to say that the first negative words that pop in your mouth.
This hit me hard the other day whenever I was sick. I didn't want to get Javy sick, because he's having a medical procedure next week. I isolated myself in my room and tried not to come around him. Do you know how hard it is not to kiss and hug on him. He's completely adorable. I was so grumpy and I lashed out at my mom about something stupid. I came out of my room to say goodbye and I love you to Javy before he left for school. He looked so unhappy, he wouldn't even smile. That negativity was just floating heavy in the air. I was crushed and I will never forget this lesson, just the thought of Javy one bad day tears me apart. His physical challenges are enough, he doesn't need any emotional ones.
So bear with me as I go through my challenge. Feedback is always welcome, too. Thanks for your support.
This is my first blog, in this series. Because I'm sharing with you, how hard it is for me to share. There are so many great blogs that I like to read, myself. "Rants from Mommyland", "I am not the Babysitter" and "Herding Cats" are some great examples. And they're not necessarily about children with special needs. I think that good parenting as whole needs to be discussed. This challenge for me is made even harder with all of the things that have gone on this week, my mind is telling me how irrelevant this is. Even if no one reads it, I need it so that makes it relevant.
This blog started out as a voice for kids with undiagnosed disorders. But its turned into something else, the way Javy has inspired me to do more with my life and be the whole person that I can be. This includes includes my weight loss and physical accomplishments. But I've kept my internal transformation very private. People have asked me about my weight loss and how I've done it. They're disappointed when I can't give them a definitive answer. All I can say is that something clicked on inside me to keep me driven. My number one inspiration was Javy. His physical limitations never bring his spirit down. He still tries to do everything that he can so why shouldn't I. It's disrespectful to him to not give it my all.
I hope that people I come in contact with notice the positive changes in me. People who know me, know that I have been very moody in the past and slightly sensitive. (I can hear my sister snickering) But I've come to realize that this is very selfish, my attitude can ruin someone's whole day, especially Javy's. It takes discipline but I put away the negative thoughts and focus on the positive. My attitude used to be, oh this is how I am, just get over it. Life is short, I want to have the best experiences possible and I don't want Javy or anyone else to have one negative day, because of me. It's so much easier just to smile and say nothing than to say that the first negative words that pop in your mouth.
This hit me hard the other day whenever I was sick. I didn't want to get Javy sick, because he's having a medical procedure next week. I isolated myself in my room and tried not to come around him. Do you know how hard it is not to kiss and hug on him. He's completely adorable. I was so grumpy and I lashed out at my mom about something stupid. I came out of my room to say goodbye and I love you to Javy before he left for school. He looked so unhappy, he wouldn't even smile. That negativity was just floating heavy in the air. I was crushed and I will never forget this lesson, just the thought of Javy one bad day tears me apart. His physical challenges are enough, he doesn't need any emotional ones.
So bear with me as I go through my challenge. Feedback is always welcome, too. Thanks for your support.
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