I know everyone wanted to hear about the big doctor's appointment, but that wasn't the only thing that happened on our trip to Oahu. As always, we learned something new and I gained a new perspective that I want to share. Or at least, I'm still trying to figure out. On the bus ride home, we actually got the same bus driver that picked us up and she was really cool. I even feel like I made a new friend. Of course, I had to show her Javy's surfing pics. But I digress.
On the way home, somewhere downtown, we picked up this guy the bus driver seemed to know. He used leg braces and the hand canes for walking. Before he got on, the bus driver said, "Oh, Oh! Here comes trouble.", in a joking tone. He got on, and sat in the handicap row across from us. I smiled and nodded, my usual greeting to strangers. He just kept to himself, didn't acknowledge Javy and started talking to two ladies a couple of rows back. You see that's the thing I've learned about people with disabilities. There's no club. You can't assume that just because they have a disability, they're gonna automatically warm up to other people with disabilities. They're just people. So I wasn't surprised that he didn't talk to or look at Javy.
A couple of stops later, we pick up an elderly lady. After the guy moves his canes, she sits on the far opposite end of the handicap seating, facing us. I noticed that she was carrying a canvas shopping bag with a big box of those Cabaret crackers that you can buy at Costco, you know the one that has the five smaller boxes.
So we ride through Chinatown, the guy is still talking to the ladies about movies. He still never acknowledges us or looks at us. But overall, he's very friendly and talkative. I don't take offense. The elderly lady is just staring straight ahead, with not much expression on her face. I'm talking to the bus driver. A couple of blocks later, Javy starts making some noises and laughs because he's trying to push the "Stop Requested" button. Its then that I notice that the elderly lady is smiling at Javy. She looks at me and says, "Does he like crackers?" I said something to the affect of yes he does. Thinking that she wants to give him one from her big box, I quickly add, but we just had a huge lunch. She then indicates that she wants me to take the box in her bag. I still try and refuse, so the guy is like, "Well, she doesn't want them, I would like them." The lady quickly turns really sour and says, "No!" And then she immediately smiles at Javy and says, "Just for him." At this point, my only choice is to take some crackers, I'm thinking, so I reach for the box. I start to open it to take some and she's like, "No, the whole box." Then its the back and forth, all over again. No, I couldn't. Yes, I want him to have them. Okay, no choice. I take the crackers. Meanwhile, the guy is kind of pouting and complaining at the lady. And she just snaps at him and says "No! None for you!"
At this point, it was kind of this bizarre WTF? do I do now moment. I'm pouring out my gratitude to this lady for being so kind to my son, while she is seemingly being very mean to another person. Yikes! In my mind if someone is asking point blank for something with no pride, they may need the crackers worse than we do. So when she got off the bus, I let the guy pick out two boxes. She left the bus still insisting that he couldn't have any, btw.
I, also, left out a minor detail. The guy was African American and the elderly lady was white. I don't want to judge, but there's a chance racism was involved. Really, does it matter what the intent of the lady was, everyone got blessed.
After that, the guy started talking to me. It became clear that he did have some kind of hidden disability, like a social disorder. He was extremely paranoid and stated that 99% of the people of the world were bad. And pointed at that lady as evidence. I sincerely feel really bad for this guy, because to me a physical disability is nothing compared to something inside your head that makes you fear everything. He said that he felt the government should monitor everyone so that we could be safe. Yes, he probably is one of the people who calls the FBI, even, just to let them know what is going on in his neighborhood.
I wanted to tell him to just hang around with Javy for a little while, he seems to bring out the best in people. But I think that guys got bigger issues. I pray that he gets some kind of relief. I view the world completely different. Everyone is good until they prove me wrong. Even that lady, even if she was racist, she just gave a half Mexican kid some crackers. We got to believe that people can change. If not, what's the point.
On the way home, somewhere downtown, we picked up this guy the bus driver seemed to know. He used leg braces and the hand canes for walking. Before he got on, the bus driver said, "Oh, Oh! Here comes trouble.", in a joking tone. He got on, and sat in the handicap row across from us. I smiled and nodded, my usual greeting to strangers. He just kept to himself, didn't acknowledge Javy and started talking to two ladies a couple of rows back. You see that's the thing I've learned about people with disabilities. There's no club. You can't assume that just because they have a disability, they're gonna automatically warm up to other people with disabilities. They're just people. So I wasn't surprised that he didn't talk to or look at Javy.
A couple of stops later, we pick up an elderly lady. After the guy moves his canes, she sits on the far opposite end of the handicap seating, facing us. I noticed that she was carrying a canvas shopping bag with a big box of those Cabaret crackers that you can buy at Costco, you know the one that has the five smaller boxes.
So we ride through Chinatown, the guy is still talking to the ladies about movies. He still never acknowledges us or looks at us. But overall, he's very friendly and talkative. I don't take offense. The elderly lady is just staring straight ahead, with not much expression on her face. I'm talking to the bus driver. A couple of blocks later, Javy starts making some noises and laughs because he's trying to push the "Stop Requested" button. Its then that I notice that the elderly lady is smiling at Javy. She looks at me and says, "Does he like crackers?" I said something to the affect of yes he does. Thinking that she wants to give him one from her big box, I quickly add, but we just had a huge lunch. She then indicates that she wants me to take the box in her bag. I still try and refuse, so the guy is like, "Well, she doesn't want them, I would like them." The lady quickly turns really sour and says, "No!" And then she immediately smiles at Javy and says, "Just for him." At this point, my only choice is to take some crackers, I'm thinking, so I reach for the box. I start to open it to take some and she's like, "No, the whole box." Then its the back and forth, all over again. No, I couldn't. Yes, I want him to have them. Okay, no choice. I take the crackers. Meanwhile, the guy is kind of pouting and complaining at the lady. And she just snaps at him and says "No! None for you!"
At this point, it was kind of this bizarre WTF? do I do now moment. I'm pouring out my gratitude to this lady for being so kind to my son, while she is seemingly being very mean to another person. Yikes! In my mind if someone is asking point blank for something with no pride, they may need the crackers worse than we do. So when she got off the bus, I let the guy pick out two boxes. She left the bus still insisting that he couldn't have any, btw.
I, also, left out a minor detail. The guy was African American and the elderly lady was white. I don't want to judge, but there's a chance racism was involved. Really, does it matter what the intent of the lady was, everyone got blessed.
After that, the guy started talking to me. It became clear that he did have some kind of hidden disability, like a social disorder. He was extremely paranoid and stated that 99% of the people of the world were bad. And pointed at that lady as evidence. I sincerely feel really bad for this guy, because to me a physical disability is nothing compared to something inside your head that makes you fear everything. He said that he felt the government should monitor everyone so that we could be safe. Yes, he probably is one of the people who calls the FBI, even, just to let them know what is going on in his neighborhood.
I wanted to tell him to just hang around with Javy for a little while, he seems to bring out the best in people. But I think that guys got bigger issues. I pray that he gets some kind of relief. I view the world completely different. Everyone is good until they prove me wrong. Even that lady, even if she was racist, she just gave a half Mexican kid some crackers. We got to believe that people can change. If not, what's the point.
No comments:
Post a Comment